All Men Are Dogs; Gospel According to a Narcissist [By Ren Gharu]

A majority of women have a story to share about being in an unhealthy relationship. In some cases, women will refer to their partners as a narcissist. Whether they actually are or not, to compare someone to a narcissist speaks volumes.

While the Narcissistic Personality Disorder is rare, some of the traits one can exude are as follows: grandiosity, callous, unemotional traits, disregard for others’ feelings, excessive need for admiration, or social isolation.

Ren has a blog called Regaining Your Innocence where she posts about being involved with a narcissistic person and her journey to find love again. In this post, she reached out to a close to friend to find out why the a previous love would string her along and put her through the emotional turmoil she endured. Read more of this incredibly vulnerable story below.

After my previous love I spoke to a mutual friend of ours, and he made a very big statement “All men are dogs.” Now this statement stuck with me and it’s been running through my head since. Are all men dogs? Or do a select few choose to be dogs? I’ve never wanted to put people into one category, and I refuse to believe all men are like this. I want to have faith in humanity and men too. I do believe we are our choices, not a general quote…like all men are dogs.

Now I have a very good relationship with this said friend, a mutual respect and he’d always tell me the truth. Which he did this day but I think it bothers me more than I initially thought. He told me that my previous love chose me because I was easily accessible, and that the foundations were already built. This cemented the characteristics of a narcissist, different forms of connections to allow different types of controlling. For me, this was a big thing, having a group of friends I trusted. (He said) “I can’t be mad at the things he did, because I’ve done the same”….wow

He continued telling me different aspects and his view of the situation, he then told me of his previous extremely similar situation. He got involved with one of his best friends, was having a complete relationship with her, calling her his girlfriend. Even going on dates a seemingly normal relationship and even had an unplanned pregnancy too. Whilst the whole time he was involved with his long term partner. He kept saying to me how my situation was the same as his previous, and how he couldn’t believe it.

“I believe you two are soul mates” is what he told me about my previous love and myself. And the only comment I could make is why would a best friend and soulmate do that to someone they loved then? He didn’t have an answer, well he did; all men are dogs. They want the best of everything. He believes his childhood was reasoning for his decisions but said he could never understand what my previous loves reasoning’s were.

I mean I could start a whole book and never finish it with reasons I think my previous love did what he did. But to what end? For me to come up with excuses, to be thinking this was my fault? He wouldn’t of hurt me, but did because I did this. Narcissist’s work in a way where everything is your fault, and you constantly doubt yourself. I told my friend, “Do you not see that all of your choices have consequences? These selfish choices you have made previously and B has made now, has permanent effects on people’s lives? On their future choices and insecurities?” The choices that were made were for selfish gain, sexual use and mistreatment and all of this whilst claiming to love someone. I do not believe these people, these narcissist understand the meaning or even experiences the feeling of love, other than loving themselves.

I’m starting now, after a long time of dealing with my previous love and the after effects seeing he is a very sick and twisted man. A very vindictive, manipulative individual with a dark soul and lack of empathy. Someone who sets on people’s kind hearts and emphatic side and uses this against them. I’ve allowed people to make me think I was in the wrong for this, and how he’s a victim but no longer will I. This is someone who’s made these same choices again and again with different people over a long period of time, and he’s the kind of person who will never stop.

Everyday I’m slowly mentally dealing with everything, and finally I’m starting to let go of the memory of it all, (even) the occasions I classed as good times with my previous love. We should never let anyone dictate our future choices, and who we decide to let in. Our hearts and minds need to heal…yes we will heal.

I refuse to believe all men are dogs, I still want to have faith and belief in men. In a group of 10 i’m sure I will find some decent human beings with love to share.

The world is endless and there are endless possibilities to be had…

You can read more about Ren’s empowering story on her site; Regaining Your Innocence. There you will find she provides an insight into mental health, how you can get better at self love, become stronger within, gain a deeper understanding of narcissistic abusers and how you can heal after a relationship with one.  You can also follow her on Facebook or Snapchat: ren_1989.

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23 thoughts on “All Men Are Dogs; Gospel According to a Narcissist [By Ren Gharu]

  1. I refuse to believe all men are dogs as well. My husband is not a “dog”. He is a wonderful person. Sure, he has some stereotypically MAN like tendencies but I know deep down, he’s amazing! And really, he always means well.


  2. I had a friend who was in an unhealthy relationship. And her BF kept controlling her. Then one day he hit her too. I am happy to know that now he is no longer a part of her life. ๐Ÿ˜Š


  3. I have met both men and women that are dogs. I know women that for some reason connect over and over again with they same kind of dogs.
    You need to know that they are not all dogs. My wife and I have been together since high school, thirty-seven years, married thirty-one. We have dealt with suicide of both our mothers, infidelity, adoption, a special needs child, a miracle birth of our second, two accidents Iโ€™m not sure how I walked away from and my on going disability. We are partners in life and marriage.


  4. My advice to anyone coming out of a bad relationship is to just take time for yourself. Learn to be enough for yourself. Learn to love yourself. Treat your mind and your body with respect. Lay down with yourself and be honest about who you are and what you want. Discovering your own worth makes it a lot easier to find someone who also realizes your worth. Just donโ€™t sell yourself short. Wait for someone who appreciates you as much as you appreciate the work youโ€™ve put into yourself.


  5. Unfortunately some experiences hurt us so much that we lost all our trust. It’s important however not to generalise and to believe that there is someone there for us. There is no forest without dried branches in it. Think of your experience as a dried branch.


  6. I personally don’t believe that all men are dog.I am lucky to have an amazing supportive husband.Man and woman both can be good or bad.


  7. I do not believe that people change. I’ve not seen one instance to prove me wrong during my long life. I was in an unhealthy relationship once and it left me not wanting to date again. Ever!


  8. I’m sorry you found yourself in that kind of a relationship. Great to hear you are healing, and I hope you continue to hold on to the belief that there are great men out there. There are and you will find one.


  9. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that…and i”m happy that you’re sharing about it and talking through it.


  10. This is such a great post. I and my husband are with each other’s arms for a long time. We have 2 boys and we raised them to be good. Definitely, I don’t believe that all men are dogs.


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