How To Be More Likable

I think I speak for most people in saying that we would all like to become more likable. Now, don’t get me wrong, it shouldn’t matter if everyone likes you but being more likable has its benefits. Whether you want to have a great first date, gain a new friendship, or even get noticed at work….a lot of that has to do with how others perceive you.

Growing up, I was never one of those people that really cared if someone liked me or not. That went well into my teen years and I always had a mentality that if someone didn’t like me, that was their problem, not mine. It worked pretty well, until adulthood came.

In adulthood the expectation is that you should be confident in yourself and who you are, but you should also be aware of how you come across to others . I will use myself as an example. I tend to be a very witty person and the tone of my voice can naturally sound sarcastic. To some people, I am comical ….to others I am snide. In knowing that, I have to be aware that some people could take offense and act accordingly.

While the title of the post itself seems to implicate you’ll need to sacrifice who you are, it is quite the opposite. There are very small and underrated qualities you can add to your character. These will make you more likable, while also staying genuine to yourself.

Be Impressed, Not Impressive

Most people are under the impression that the more you impressive you make yourself, the more people will like you. That is not always the case, those people often come across as arrogant and conceited. Nobody wants to respect someone who is full of themselves.

People are more interested in someone who is impressed. Call it what you want, but people naturally gravitate to those that will appreciate someone else’s value as much as their own. It’s human nature. When you allow others to feel like they’ve impressed you, rather than the other way around, that is when people will find you impressive.

Be Authentic, Not Insincere

This is a huge one, no matter what you try to do to become more likable, never be insincere. People can feel when you aren’t being genuine and the moment it feels like you only have an agenda, that is when they stop listening. This is true in many things…ask any really good salesman.

Authentic means to be genuine, original and real. This is important because being likable is simply not enough. Likability on its own is mediocre at best, but likability with respect is very powerful. Being authentic shows that you know what your values are…instead of being wishy washy with them.

Expect Nothing & Be Easy

While you have your own standards for how people should act, don’t come across like anybody owes you something. You should maintain your own self esteem and confidence. Also note that it is impossible to expect perfection, which means that it is possible for people to have ugly moments.

Being easy does not mean sacrificing your expectations. It simply means allowing other people to exist as they are. Does this mean you have to accept it as right? No, but people feel most uncomfortable when they have to edit themselves or apologize for who they are.

Don’t Be Too Busy To Show Up

Everyone is busy. This is the one thing you should not constantly say to people and this applies to personal & professional relationships. People will stop coming to you for stuff because they see you as someone they can’t depend on. Even worse, they see you as someone who cares only for yourself.

When you show up for others you will find they are more willing to show up for you. They will advocate for you and support you through almost anything. It will make a huge difference in any relationship you hope to have with people.

Accept Not Everyone Will Like You

The absolute irony in being likable is that you also have to be okay with being unlikable. That’s right, you heard me. For every person that likes you, there will also be people that dislike you. Believe it or not, the more comfort you find in that the more people will actually like you.

As a human, you know there is no such thing as being universally liked. In fact, this is the very thing that makes being too likable so obnoxious. When you try to appeal to everyone, you actually appeal to no one.

I can’t tell you that you’ll be impressionable by doing these things alone, but I can tell you that by applying them to your character it will change the way people interact with you. Thanks for reading!

What do you do to be more likable?

Is being likable important?

Can you be authentic while trying to be likable?

How has your likability, or lack there of, impacted your life?

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63 thoughts on “How To Be More Likable

  1. Good points, but if you are who you are and don’t care people won’t care really
    I’m an asshole but still become successful
    Yeah there are hurdles to overcome
    But I’d rather be successful as me
    Then be successful and lose myself in the process

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes, by no means should people lose themselves by trying to become more likable. That won’t work out. But for the most part, not everyone can pull off being an asshole haha. Thanks for reading!

      Like

  2. Great points. One thing that is also really important is people like others who are interesting. And to be interesting, you have to be interested – by asking people questions. People like to talk about themselves, so whenever you ask questions about them, you becoming more interesting. Lol it’s silly, but it works. A lot. Especially in sales. And it isn’t inauthentic, especially when you’re asking genuine questions about them!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, that’s actually a great tactic. I’m definitely going to try that out because I know I am definitely more drawn to people who make me feel like they are interested in things about me. Thanks for reading!

      Like

  3. I love this, especially the point about accepting the fact that not everyone will like you. This is something that can be very difficult to accept, especially for a people pleaser. But it is so very important. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is such a lovely tip. Honestly, I want to be likable even if I am not Lol. But Thank you for sharing this. Being authentic is what really important.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is something I need to remember every single day! I love that topic. It shows how being authentic will formed in our daily living to be likable.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is very interesting to read. When you are a teenager, all you want is to be like by everyone else because you want to be you belong but as you grow older, you change into something more mature – to be likable. The tips are very helpful for someone who is having a hard time getting with to others. Good job!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The way you come across really does matter. I have a good friend who can come across snide but he’s really just witty like you noted. Those who know him understand that, those who don’t, sometimes take him the wrong way.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow..these are absolutely some amazing and useful tips! We first want to accept that not every one will like you. Thanks for the tips!

    Like

  9. These are all good tips. But I do there not for people to like me. It’s like, I am nice because I am nice and it’s good and right. So whether people like me or not, that’s fine with me. I am doing this for myself and not for them. If we do things for people to like us then we will be sorely disappointed. People will dislike us for no reason at all.

    Like

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