I think I speak for most people in saying that we would all like to become more likable. Now, don’t get me wrong, it shouldn’t matter if everyone likes you but being more likable has its benefits. Whether you want to have a great first date, gain a new friendship, or even get noticed at work….a lot of that has to do with how others perceive you.
Growing up, I was never one of those people that really cared if someone liked me or not. That went well into my teen years and I always had a mentality that if someone didn’t like me, that was their problem, not mine. It worked pretty well, until adulthood came.
In adulthood the expectation is that you should be confident in yourself and who you are, but you should also be aware of how you come across to others . I will use myself as an example. I tend to be a very witty person and the tone of my voice can naturally sound sarcastic. To some people, I am comical ….to others I am snide. In knowing that, I have to be aware that some people could take offense and act accordingly.
While the title of the post itself seems to implicate you’ll need to sacrifice who you are, it is quite the opposite. There are very small and underrated qualities you can add to your character. These will make you more likable, while also staying genuine to yourself.
Be Impressed, Not Impressive
Most people are under the impression that the more you impressive you make yourself, the more people will like you. That is not always the case, those people often come across as arrogant and conceited. Nobody wants to respect someone who is full of themselves.
People are more interested in someone who is impressed. Call it what you want, but people naturally gravitate to those that will appreciate someone else’s value as much as their own. It’s human nature. When you allow others to feel like they’ve impressed you, rather than the other way around, that is when people will find you impressive.
Be Authentic, Not Insincere
This is a huge one, no matter what you try to do to become more likable, never be insincere. People can feel when you aren’t being genuine and the moment it feels like you only have an agenda, that is when they stop listening. This is true in many things…ask any really good salesman.
Authentic means to be genuine, original and real. This is important because being likable is simply not enough. Likability on its own is mediocre at best, but likability with respect is very powerful. Being authentic shows that you know what your values are…instead of being wishy washy with them.
Expect Nothing & Be Easy
While you have your own standards for how people should act, don’t come across like anybody owes you something. You should maintain your own self esteem and confidence. Also note that it is impossible to expect perfection, which means that it is possible for people to have ugly moments.
Being easy does not mean sacrificing your expectations. It simply means allowing other people to exist as they are. Does this mean you have to accept it as right? No, but people feel most uncomfortable when they have to edit themselves or apologize for who they are.
Don’t Be Too Busy To Show Up
Everyone is busy. This is the one thing you should not constantly say to people and this applies to personal & professional relationships. People will stop coming to you for stuff because they see you as someone they can’t depend on. Even worse, they see you as someone who cares only for yourself.
When you show up for others you will find they are more willing to show up for you. They will advocate for you and support you through almost anything. It will make a huge difference in any relationship you hope to have with people.
Accept Not Everyone Will Like You
The absolute irony in being likable is that you also have to be okay with being unlikable. That’s right, you heard me. For every person that likes you, there will also be people that dislike you. Believe it or not, the more comfort you find in that the more people will actually like you.
As a human, you know there is no such thing as being universally liked. In fact, this is the very thing that makes being too likable so obnoxious. When you try to appeal to everyone, you actually appeal to no one.
I can’t tell you that you’ll be impressionable by doing these things alone, but I can tell you that by applying them to your character it will change the way people interact with you. Thanks for reading!