Since the New Year many people have been making some big changes, or at least trying to. (For those that need to hear it..I’m proud of you, keep it up!) But in saying that, there are always people who want to tear others down and tell them how to live. My advice? To hell with their input.
This post is actually pretty personal to me this month. As you know from my previous post, I moved out of my apartment and back into my parents place. This decision was not made halfheartedly and I didn’t have any disappointing feelings about it. That is until somebody close in my life decided they wanted to make me feel bad about it. It was made clear to me by that person that I should feel like I failed, I should have struggled more before moving back in, and that all the success I’ve had in the past year means basically nothing in comparison.
Now I’ll admit, because this is someone that I used to look up to, it hurt to hear. I even thought that maybe she was right. Maybe I was this huge failure that should have done better. But after talking with the people close to me and people, whose opinions I trusted, I realized that I was wrong to think she was right. She wasn’t trying to give me advice, she was cynical and leveraged the opportunity to take a hit at my self esteem and confidence. I’m wrong to put any thought into opinions from others who think they know what’s best for me when I have already thought long and hard on what is actually best for me.
“Grow at your own pace. Take a break to breathe when you need it. Don’t let ANYBODY, EVER, make you question why you made a decision that was best for you.”– Reanna Korcek (My Best Friend)
I know there are so many of you out there that have faced criticism on how you lead your life. Some people genuinely care and they prove that by lending a helping hand. But then there are also people that can only provide ‘lip service’. That can be really hard to overcome and sometimes you might even cave into those people’s opinions. I want to remind all of you that nobody can lead your life like you can. Don’t let the timeline of other peoples lives dictate how you feel about yours. Still, even in saying that, we are human. So here are a few things you can do to ensure you are living a life you can be proud of.
What changes do you want to see in your life in the next year? 2 years? 5 years?
We often get so caught up in the now that we actually prevent ourselves from growing in the future. Change does not happen immediately and if you are unsatisfied with your life today, put a plan in place to make each day a step towards where you want to be. I promise you will get there!
Understand it is OKAY to lean on others when you need to.
There are people who want to tell you to do better and then there are those that actually want to help you do better. You deserve time to regroup. If someone offers to help you out or you have the chance take a break…don’t let PRIDE be the reason you didn’t. You could find yourself in a worse spot if you aren’t careful.
Accept the fact that it might take you longer than someone else to get to a certain point.
I think what leads most young people to feel like they are failing is that they think by 18-20 they should have an apartment, by 22 they should have a degree, by 25 they should have found their soulmate and by 30 they should have a house. Yes, there are some people out there that have done this, but most people do not fulfill the expectations of this imaginary timeline. In fact, society tries to enforce this “perfect life plan” when its not realistic. Much like plants, we all grow at different paces. Give yourself the time to fully bloom.
Recognize that a setback is simply a bump in the road. Not the end of it.
There is not a single person alive who dies having lived the perfect life. There are going to be obstacles that you will fail to overcome the first time, you’re going to have successes taken from you, and you may even hit rock bottom a couple of times. The only thing you can do is move forward, take what you learned and know that there is plenty of success waiting to be had in your life.
At the end of the day you are the only one who has to live with the choices you make in this life. If you are happy and at peace with them, who gives a damn about how someone else feels about them. They have their own life to live. In saying that I want to again point out that some people genuinely want to see you do good. But please be mindful that there are many people (family and loved ones included) that simply get off on the opportunity to put you down. Do not let these people demoralize you or make you feel inferior.